Saturday, February 28, 2015

From Bad to Worse, to Hopefully Much Better

Hi! My name is Bridgette Perdue, and I am a friend of Tara's. As you'll find out why in this blog post, Tara has not felt up to writing an update, and asked me to share with you the latest. Here's what's been going on in her own words.

"Pain from my wounds and the lymphedema had gotten increasingly worse. The pain had gotten so bad that on February 10th, I went into the ER, thinking there may be an infection. They ran tests and the results show significant c***** growth, on the liver, on the spleen, and on the sac that holds the lung. Although there was no infection, they did find almost a liter of fluid in the sac. I was admitted overnight and they drained the fluid the next day. 
During that stay I met with surgical oncology and radiation oncology. Surgical oncology told me there was nothing they could do for me. Radiation oncology said they felt they could effectively shrink the tumors in my breast, but because it is targeted, it would do nothing for the c**** on my liver or lungs, and would make the lymphedema worse. Not an option I wanted to pursue. After spending so much time in the hospital, I wanted to go home, and decided to make an appointment to see medical oncology.
At this following appointment with medical oncology, they felt that chemotherapy would be effective. However, there was only a small window of time in which chemotherapy would work. This was still an option because the c***** hadn't spread too bad in my liver. (The chemo is metabolized through the liver, so without the liver functioning, the treatment won't work.) The doctors felt that if I didn't start treatment within a month, chemo would no longer be an option. 
As the days wore on, I continued to feel worse. And it happened very quickly. Breathing was extremely difficult, as fluid was building back into my lung's sac, and the lymphedema caused significant pain and considerable swelling in my right arm. The breathing and pain compilation make the simplest of tasks difficult.
This past Tuesday I went back in to have my lung's sac drained again. By this time, I could tell by the amount of pain I was in, accompanied with the doctor's test results, that the c***** had grown considerably, since my visit on the 10th. One physician said, "I think we can both agree that this has grown like wildfire." This time, only two short week's later, there was over a liter of fluid in the lung's sac; however, they could only drain a liter because I was an outpatient and not receiving overnight care. An appointment for chemotherapy was made.
Today (Friday) a port was placed, and I received the first round of single agent chemo. I chose this type, that has less side effects, because I didn't feel my body could handle a stronger double agent treatment. The doctors seem optimistic that this will shrink the tumors because, since I haven't had much chemo, my body has not yet built up resistance to it. As of Friday evening, I have not felt any side effects, and am hopeful I will continue to feel well." 

* * * * * 
Hi, it's me (Bridgette) again. Allow me to share with you what I have seen this past month.

Since leaving her job a month ago,  her health has been in rapid decline. Her situation is very serious. It's hard to believe that just in January she was waking around the schools, and now she can barely get off of the couch. Bob her husband dresses her every morning, prepares her meals (a very strict diet), and changes her bandages. On top of that, he gets the kids ready for school, works long hours for a home that is now reliant on 1 income, then comes home to feed the kids, help with homework... and the list goes on. I don't have a husband, but I know a good man when I see one. This dude is a saint.

Additionally, a nurse visits her home daily for wound care. Tara rarely leaves home, except to go to the doctors, and there she gets around by wheelchair. Between the pain, the shortness of breath, and overall physical weakness, the smallest of tasks (standing up, walking from the car to the house, or from one room to another) is literally exhausting. And because of this battle, she has experienced some weight loss. #silverlining ;-)

Many of the women at her church come sit with her during the day, to run a vacuum, give her her meals, and keep company. I come twice a week, and it's a highlight for me. We talk about our favorite (and not so favorite) students, we read the Bible and pray together. Or sometimes just sit in silence. I guess that's what "being there" for someone is.

It has been quite a humbling month for me. Watching one of the kindest people I know suffer with this horrible disease. Feeling like running the dishwasher is nothing in comparison to what she and her family are going through. Feeling honored that she trusts me with this part of her life.

Tara undoubtedly has great difficulty in her body, but, BUT! her spirit is incredibly resilient. In the midst of such anguish she still puts one foot in front of the other and keeps her eye on the prize. She's a fighter in every sense of the word. By faith, she's going to come out on top. Pray for this woman. For healing, for her strength to come back, for wisdom in the decision making. For her husband and kids who also exhibit tremendous strength and support.

Lastly, I ask you to please consider making a donation using the GoFundMe box at the top right. "You make a living by what you earn, you make a life by what you give (Winston Churchill)."  God bless!

Monday, February 2, 2015

Lymph Node Involvement

My situation is very complicated. If you read my last blog update, you are aware that several weeks ago I ended up in the ER for a pocket of fluid, which was blood, that had formed on my breast causing extreme pain and swelling. Even though the pocket broke open and drained the swelling in the breast continued to be an issue, increasing over that last several weeks. I have lymphedema of the breast and subsequently, of the trunk of the body. In addition to the lymphedema, I have four areas of the breast that are open and leaking fluid, all unique in their origin, mostly lymph fluid with the occasional blood. I keep them bandaged, obviously, and change bandages several times throughout the day. As you can imagine this causes some issues for me. The appearance of having all this dressing tucked neatly in my bra can only be disguised so much. Then there is the issue of changing bandages while working, the limited mobility of my right arm as a result of the extra fluid, enlarged, achy, lymph nodes in other parts of my body, sharp shooting pain in the breast, and other not-so-fun problems. 
 This past Thursday Bob and I went to the doctor's with the hope that he may be able to suggest someone I could see (other than an oncologist) who might be able to relieve me of some pain. He was very kind with his words as he gave me the news.

I don't have the time to go into all the details, but it basically is this; the c***** has spread to the lymph nodes. The lymphedema is a result of the fluid no longer being able to pass through the lymph vessel. There are spots on my liver too small to be able to determine whether it is c***** or not. There is a cyst on my lung, but they do feel as though it is unrelated. And maybe most bizarre of all, there is a 10 1/2 cm tumor on my right kidney, though it is benign.

How does one end up with a benign kidney tumor and not even know it?

Apparently, I have a separate, unrelated gene mutation which causes this. Often it goes unnoticed until it is found while looking for something else, usually occurring in middle-age. (eek, middle-aged. How did I become middle-aged?) Kidney function will test fine because the other kidney is functioning, not to say the affected kidney is not. I don't know whether it is or not. Who knew I was such a walking genetically mutated hot mess.

I guess I was hoping that the lymph system was just clogged and there would be hope of attaining some relief. But this not being the case, there is nothing that the medical world can do to help the lymphedema. 
Where do I go from here?

I have prayfully made some decisions concerning continuing to work. Given the amount of pain I am in and knowing that I will continue to be, and I have bandages that need changed every few hours, it is necessary to take extended time off from work.

As far as my treatment; I will be dedicating my days to fighting c*****. I have never spent full-time doing so and that is my plan. After a month, I will reevaluate. But as of right now, that's it.

How am I?

The news hit me hard. I spent a lot of time crying the first couple of days, a lot of time in God's word and praying. My prayers sound more like begging these days. I pray as Job prayed, "Lord, please spare my life, I am of no use to you dead."  Despite my current circumstances . I know God has a plan for my life and I am holding on to all His promises. 

 I will try to update again soon.

Keep praying, friends.