My situation is very complicated. If you read my last blog update, you are aware that several weeks ago I ended up in the ER for a pocket of fluid, which was blood, that had formed on my breast causing extreme pain and swelling. Even though the pocket broke open and drained the swelling in the breast continued to be an issue, increasing over that last several weeks. I have lymphedema of the breast and subsequently, of the trunk of the body. In addition to the lymphedema, I have four areas of the breast that are open and leaking fluid, all unique in their origin, mostly lymph fluid with the occasional blood. I keep them bandaged, obviously, and change bandages several times throughout the day. As you can imagine this causes some issues for me. The appearance of having all this dressing tucked neatly in my bra can only be disguised so much. Then there is the issue of changing bandages while working, the limited mobility of my right arm as a result of the extra fluid, enlarged, achy, lymph nodes in other parts of my body, sharp shooting pain in the breast, and other not-so-fun problems.
This past Thursday Bob and I went to the doctor's with the hope that he may be able to suggest someone I could see (other than an oncologist) who might be able to relieve me of some pain. He was very kind with his words as he gave me the news.
I don't have the time to go into all the details, but it basically is this; the c***** has spread to the lymph nodes. The lymphedema is a result of the fluid no longer being able to pass through the lymph vessel. There are spots on my liver too small to be able to determine whether it is c***** or not. There is a cyst on my lung, but they do feel as though it is unrelated. And maybe most bizarre of all, there is a 10 1/2 cm tumor on my right kidney, though it is benign.
How does one end up with a benign kidney tumor and not even know it?
Apparently, I have a separate, unrelated gene mutation which causes this. Often it goes unnoticed until it is found while looking for something else, usually occurring in middle-age. (eek, middle-aged. How did I become middle-aged?) Kidney function will test fine because the other kidney is functioning, not to say the affected kidney is not. I don't know whether it is or not. Who knew I was such a walking genetically mutated hot mess.
I guess I was hoping that the lymph system was just clogged and there would be hope of attaining some relief. But this not being the case, there is nothing that the medical world can do to help the lymphedema.
Where do I go from here?
I have prayfully made some decisions concerning continuing to work. Given the amount of pain I am in and knowing that I will continue to be, and I have bandages that need changed every few hours, it is necessary to take extended time off from work.
As far as my treatment; I will be dedicating my days to fighting c*****. I have never spent full-time doing so and that is my plan. After a month, I will reevaluate. But as of right now, that's it.
How am I?
The news hit me hard. I spent a lot of time crying the first couple of days, a lot of time in God's word and praying. My prayers sound more like begging these days. I pray as Job prayed, "Lord, please spare my life, I am of no use to you dead." Despite my current circumstances . I know God has a plan for my life and I am holding on to all His promises.
I will try to update again soon.
Keep praying, friends.
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