Imagine the Unimaginable

From the time I found the mass in my breast in late January until I finally got a diagnosis on February18, I played out the moment I would hear the news over and over again in my head, imagining what it was going to  be like to hear them say those words. I imagined how they would say it. I imagined where I would be. I imagined how I wanted Bob to respond.  I imagined how I would react. I imagined how it would feel. I imagined every possible scenario there was to being told "you have c*****". But thinking back he never even said those words to me. He said "it's not good, it's invasive ductal carcinoma". I guess it's a good thing I'm relatively intelligent or I may not have even understood what he was saying. But I did understand and nothing I had imagined compared to when I was listening to him say it in reality. It was unimaginable.

Here I am, 10 months later, sitting here imagining. But this time I'm not imagining how devastating it will feel. I'm imagining how happy I will be. I'm imagining how I'll find out. I'm imagining where I will be. I'm imagining who I'll tell first. I'm imagining how others will respond. I'm imagining how I'll react. I'm imagining what it will be like to hear them say "you don't have c*****". And I imagine it will be pretty unimaginable.  

December Ultrasound

Just a little over 24 hours after my latest ultrasound I received the results via email late this morning. I was honestly confused by what it said at first. It contains a lot of medical lingo. Really the only thing worse than not knowing the results is having the results in front of you and being completely confused by them. After looking up all the different terms and comparing it to past reports I finally had it all figured out and I was super excited.

The last ultrasound results from September had shown 6 masses total. (You can reread those results in the post "Crunch Time") I believe it was 4 in the right side and 2 in the left side. One in the right side known to be c*****ous measuring 1.6 cm. Another one in the right side thought to be a fibroadenoma (non-c*****ous) first detected in February. Two new ones found also in the right side. And lastly, two new ones found in the left side.

After the experience I had at the last place I had gotten an ultrasound, I decided to return to the original place I went to in June after deciding to do a holistic approach. I realize now the importance of going to the same place and how helpful this would have been to the process. This isn't a mistake I will make again.

So here's why I'm excited. These results say that there were NO masses, NONE found in the left side at all. There were two masses on the right side. The original c*****ous mass that had previously measured at 1.6 cm was now measuring at .8 cm. That's half people!! The tumor shrunk in half!! The only other mass was the already known fibroadenoma. I'm one very happy lady tonight. Lymph nodes on both sides are still swollen but normal for the situation.

So while I'm definitely not out of the woods yet, I can see daylight peaking through the trees.

Please, feel free to share my story. I want people to know. I would very much like for more people to know my story so when I have my next ultrasound I can finally prove that it is possible. There are options. And if I can do it, so can they.